Sh*t Quizbowl Kids Say

Sometimes at practice, you’ve just gotta read trash. But other times, the real trash is your fellow ‘bowlers, or just history itself. What follows is only a mild sampling of the hidden side of the Quiz Bowl team.


“…For ten points, name this short story, wherein children make xylophones… out of the rib cages… of pox victims. Y’know, that got dark a lot faster than I was expecting.”


“Challenge: speak German and don’t sound angry.”
“Schnitzel! Wait, shit.”


“What animal encouraged Eve to eat the apple?”
“A danger noodle.”


“The Decree of War to the Death.”
“…Wow, that sounds metal.”


C.P.E. Bach.”
“Computer Engineering Bach!?”


“Quizbowl: where people get pissed if any two questions out of 80 are even remotely overlapping.”


“Quizbowl: where we talk about exactly how hot dictators are.”


“Is that trash, or is it literature?”
“Um… give it five years.”


Secondary alcohols? Nah, all alcohols are primary.”


“Yeah, my sexual activity is governed by the Poisson distribution.”


Pynchon, V2 rockets, orgasm. That’s all you have to know.”


“…Name this character, who was friends with an infinitely wise bunny named Hercules.”


“Acceptable answers are Jeb (!) Bush…”


“I ❤ my melatonin.”